Sickly

I hate being sick. It all started with a cough, that led to migraines, which then lead to nausea, and soreness. I can't stand being sick especially when I have responsibilities like school and work. It's hard to concentrate. My eyes do not want to stay open and these horrible lights do not help at all. BLAH...I just want to lay in bed and be fed chicken soup by my mom :D

Today

So far today hasn't been too bad besides this horrible cough that won't go away. It's like I'm constantly trying to clear my throat and it just won't clear. To top it all off I have this horrible migraine that isn't subsiding. But I do feel rather accomplished today so far, I've already been to two classes and seem to be on top of things, I called my doctors and made some appointments, I called a potential interviewee for a course project, and I'm also taking time to breathe which isn't usual. This will all change around 1pm when I go to my psychology class and realize I have two papers due this coming up Monday that I have not even attempted to start, this week will definitely be packed and busy like usual but good news I don't work until Wednesday.

Bummed

So I found out yesterday that I am transferring stores. :( I'm really bummed cause now I have to meet a whole new store of people and that isn't always the easiest thing to do. Tonight is my last night at my store MoBeach. I will be gone for good.

Another Good Weekend Aheah

Tonight...
~ pumpkin buying
~ dinner
~ pumpkin carving
~ scary movies

Saturday...
~ Work
~ Halloween Party
~ Costumes
~ Friends

Sunday...
~ Church
~ Homework
~ Nap
:D

Ready For Fun

I am so excited for this weekend. I'm finally able to relax and have some fun. It's been forever since me and my best friend have hung out, and tomorrow we finally get to do just that. First we're going shopping to complete Joey's Halloween costume, then probably just some shopping for fun. Then its the first of many Halloween parties and costume #1. Sunday, I'll probably get up for church and after that I'll either relax or start the plethora of papers that I have due in the next few weeks. Anyways, I just have to get through work tonight and I should be good. Then starting Monday I have three very long days of recording in the studio with 75 other girls. Which can be fun but may be a disaster.

The Weekend

The weekend had its up and downs but all in all it was good. Friday I had to close at work, I was the youngest person there by like 15 years and I was in charge so that shows you the fun level of the night. Saturday, I had the worst day ever at work. I HATE when the supervisor on the floor sucks at time management. He had no idea what he was doing all day, we were so busy and he would just stand around and not help at all, then he would send people on their breaks at the most inappropriate times. If he works that horrible when I, another supervisor is working, what the heck does he do when it's only him and baristas? Anyways enough about him, after work I got to see my family, sadly it was only for a little bit. Stella was the greatest though, she kept loving on me, and wouldn't get out of my arms, she kept kissing me and telling me she loved me. She's awesome I love that little girl. Then Saturday night, my evil friends drug me to Knott's Scary Farm. It was my first time ever going and I was very proud of myself. I didn't do half as bad as I thought I would. I didn't think I would be able to handle it but it was pretty easy to deal with. Sunday morning I woke up early and went to church with the fam, by fam I mean Mom, Dad, Booger, Uncle Tom, Aunt Sharon, Grandma, Uncle Dave, Aunt Mary, and Aunt Diane. Then we had a BBQ. After that I bailed early to head to school for my choir concert. The choir concert went pretty well, and I stayed up a little while to finish all my homework and study for a couple of my mid-terms. So far today has been a great and easy start to my week, I hope that is a sign of how the rest of the week will be :D

Family

This past weekend while all the family was gathered in the honor of my grandpa, everyone kept saying how they want to keep in touch. For some it had been almost ten years since the last time they saw my sisters or me. I really hope that they keep their word, and continue to keep in touch with us. I've missed some of my cousins and aunts. As this was for a somber occasion we all made the best out of it and caught up with family, which is exactly what my grandfather would have wanted.

all the andrews kids plus the grandchildren that were in town

me and my daddy

me and angi

brandy, me, angi, booger, raychel, and becky (Cousins)

booger and me

Different Ways to Grieve

After going through the death of my grandpa coming back to reality was a challenge and a struggle. Then finally getting myself to just get on with life I find out that a kid from my church passed away yesterday. I didn't know him all that well but I know his brother pretty well. Chris Martinez went home to be with the Lord yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but it's still hard to cope with. His sister Catie came into Starbucks last night, saying she just had to get out of her house, there were just too many people there. She was being extremely strong considering the circumstances. Her brother John, went to the tattoo shop to go get Chris' face tattooed on his arm, when he found out. And my friend Nick, I can't even imagine what he is going through. I sent him my regards and wanted to call him, but what do you say to someone who just lost their 19 year old brother? I wouldn't be able to function if something happened to either of my sisters. My heart is continually breaking. I know everything happens for a reason and according to Jeremiah 29:11, I know God doesn't give us things we can't handle but it's still hard to deal with. I'm in a daze, my head is not making sense of anything. I just want to stay at home in bed and do absolutely nothing in the outside world. But I guess life goes on...no matter how hard the things we deal with are...life goes on.

Back to Reality

It's always a strange day your first day back to reality. My five day absence was all but a walk in the park. I am so exhausted but the world will not wait for me to catch up. It kept moving on. I came back to school, having two tests that I was not prepared for. I hate feeling like the odd ball out and missing out on things that happened around me. It's weird to try and jump back into the swing of things acting as if nothing has happened. My heart hurts, my mind hurts, I just want to be with my family, but I have responsibilities, work and school. I need a vacation!

Hopefully the rest of this week my spirits are lifted, but I'll only to be reminded of the recent loss on Monday as we say our final goodbyes. Luckily I have an amazing family and great friends that I am surrounded by. They always know how to bring about laughter in a time that something other than tears are needed.

My Farwell

Goodbye grandpa, you will be missed. R.I.P. George Harold Andrews.

Born December 26, 1934-October 6, 2008

It Just Gets Harder

Watching a grown man hold his father's hand and weep is one of the hardest things I have ever witnessed. My Uncle Steve was sitting by my grandpa's bedside, crying out for his father to tell him he loved him, with all the strength he had in him my grandpa George opened his eyes and mouthed the words "I love you."

For the past few days my grandpa has been unresponsive. He would have natural muscle spasms but not much life was left in him. Out of no where last night my grandpa decided to make a spectical. He started coughing really bad which got my mom and Aunt Mary's attention since they were on either side of him hoding his hands. My grandpa moved his entire body, lifted the hand holding my mom's, and opened his eyes really big. My Aunt Mary began talking to him telling him that it was her birthday and all she wanted was for him to open his eyes one more time, he did and tried to turn his head toward her. It was yet another moving moment that happened last night, and it wouldn't be the last.

My mom had spent most of the day holding her daddy's hand, and for most of the day he would not let go. He had such a grip on her hand as if he was begging her not to leave him alone. As the family was gathering around his bed not knowing what was going to happen he began to recognize and respond to certain peoples voices. My grandma came up behind me grab his hand and said, "Hey Babe." That forever has changed the meaning of love. This woman is being strong for her seven children, numerous grandchildren, and neices and nephews that are all with her to say goodbyes to an amazing man, her husband. He stirred in his bed trying to see where the voice and touch was coming from. Grandma walked around the bed to the side where he could see easiest. She began to again tell him that she loved him so much and that she would be okay, to just look around at all the people that have come for support and love that would make sure she was okay.

My mom's cousin Jeanean starting talking to her Uncle Harold, and out of no where he picked up his head and clear as day said, "Jean." I have never seen that kind of smile on a woman's face before. I said typical grandpa...always doing things on his time. Not letting anyone have a say in the way he does things. Now they are saying they don't know what is happening. My grandpa keeps jumping from bad to worse back to semi normal...my aunts keep saying that he is waiting for his sister to come out on Thursday.

This whole experience is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I can't even imagine how my mom and her sisters feel. My grandma keeps putting on a brave foot and only breaking down every once in a while. I hope that in my life I can have half the strenght of that woman.

Finally

I'm finally with my mom. The amazing people I work with all pulled together to get my shift at work taken care of and I drove down to San Diego last night. I got to spend some time with the whole gang, Aunt Mary, Uncle Steve, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Diane, Grandma, and Grandpa. Biggest news yet...my grandpa started to say my name when I first got to the house. We all sat down to a dinner of lasagna. And we were all cramping with laughter at the antics of Uncle Steve. He was hilarious and I forgot how much fun he was. Of course grandma tried to spoil the fun by telling us we were too loud and Aunt Mary being who she is walked over to grandpa and said, "Dad are we being too loud for you." And my good ol' grandpa said, "No Ma'am." He was enjoying our company and our laughter. I've realized how much I miss this side of my family, and I can't wait to see my cousins David, Brenda, and Rachel. I haven't seen Rachel since she was a baby and now she's 17! It's going be so much fun. I feel a lot better now that I'm with my mom. She is an amazing woman, and she shines with her family. She's always running around to make sure everything is taken care of and cooking for everyone. I hope that someday I can be as selfless as she is.

Emotional Exhaustion

My dad called me Wednesday night on my way to work and told me that my mom and her siblings decided to take my grandpa out of the home he has been staying at. Facing the inevitable, they want him to be at home peaceful when he passes. I didn't realize it would be this hard, what's killing me the most is that my mom is hurting. I've tried talking to her everyday since she's been in San Diego but it's just not the same as seeing her. I wish I could be with her right now, I can't even imagine losing my dad. Hopefully I can get my shift covered at work so that I can go out there tonight not only to be with my mom but to bring her, her things. She didn't realize when she left that she would be gone this long. With how emotionally exhausted I am, I can only imagine how my mom feels. She's trying to be strong for her family, and that has to be draining. I love my mom and I miss her so much.

My Twin

Last Friday night some friends and I took my little sister out dancing since she just turned 18. While we were out, a woman came up to us to apparently get us to do a dating show for MTV. She is the casting director for parental control. She thought my sister and I were twins. She starts to tell us how she's always had an idea for this double date show, and how it would be cool if we were on it. Of course we will be pretending to be twins on the show. She takes down all our information and tells us she'll call us after she pitches the idea to her boss. So this morning she texts both my sister and I to tell us that she needs our picture and the picture of our "boyfriend." So now we are frantically trying to find "boyfriends" to go on the show with us. lol She ended up asking our family friend Paul, and I asked a friend of mine from work. So we'll see if this turns into anything, but for the time being its fun to think about. Did I mention there is money involved :D

Batman

I recently got a tattoo of the Batman symbol..which happens to be my first one. I can almost predict what everyone's first reaction is when looking at it..."Why on earth would you tattoo Batman on yourself?" Not that I need to explain my decisions to anyone but I guess I will to give you all a chance to understand. It all started with my grandpa (on my dad's side) who was not the nicest, nor was he the most loving person in my life but I know that he did love me, I knew through his own personal way of showing it. At a young age my grandpa introduced me to my hero, Batman.

I remember him pulling me up on his lap in his black leather chair that was always in the corner of the living room. The show would start, and I would be in heaven. It was always the same story, he would pull out his polished wood template with a blank sheet of paper resting on the front of it. Then he would grab a recently sharpened pencil and begin the drawing that would last throughout the entire episode of Batman. I would always try to split my attention between the masterpiece that grandpa was creating and my first true love. At the end of every show, grandpa had drawn his own version of my hero for me to keep. He would let me pretend to help finish the drawing off by holding onto his hand as he drew the last few lines.

Throughout my life my secret love affair with the Caped Crusader has not faltered. After my grandpa passed away I wanted to get something to represent the special bond between the two of us. It took me almost six years to finally decide what better way to represent my love and bond with my grandpa then to get a tattoo of Batman. The tattoo is more then just my obsession with a hero but a tribute to the man that gave me someone to believe in as a young child.

Hopefully soon, I'll be able to go back and get my tattoo finished up, with the final product showing the initials SJC, which stands for Sidney James Charter. Although he didn't leave a lasting impression on everyone he met like he has on me, it has definitely played a huge part in the bond that he and i had. Maybe now people won't think I'm so crazy for tattooing something as silly as Batman on myself.

Sidney James Charter

Frustration

Sometimes it seems like professors are out to get you rather then help you
They say they want to see you succeed but don't really act like that at all
It's rather frustrating when they are so rude and require so much of you with little in return
I can't even believe how draining this semester is, it's worse then any other
Like my dad always tell me, there will be a pay off in the end...how long do i have to wait?


To top it all off, the weekend was all but relaxing, which is never a good sign for the week to follow
A couple good things were reuniting with family and spending time with friends

Why does it always seem that family only comes together when illness or death is around?
Is it too much to ask that family stays close to one another?
I love my aunts and it was great to see them after a five year absence
But like usual it was bittersweet...my grandpa isn't doing so well
They all came out cause it didn't look good, they say he's doing better and I'll pray that lasts
I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to see him, and I hate not being able to do anything about it
I should probably make an effort to keep in touch even if it is just through email or phone calls