It Just Gets Harder

Watching a grown man hold his father's hand and weep is one of the hardest things I have ever witnessed. My Uncle Steve was sitting by my grandpa's bedside, crying out for his father to tell him he loved him, with all the strength he had in him my grandpa George opened his eyes and mouthed the words "I love you."

For the past few days my grandpa has been unresponsive. He would have natural muscle spasms but not much life was left in him. Out of no where last night my grandpa decided to make a spectical. He started coughing really bad which got my mom and Aunt Mary's attention since they were on either side of him hoding his hands. My grandpa moved his entire body, lifted the hand holding my mom's, and opened his eyes really big. My Aunt Mary began talking to him telling him that it was her birthday and all she wanted was for him to open his eyes one more time, he did and tried to turn his head toward her. It was yet another moving moment that happened last night, and it wouldn't be the last.

My mom had spent most of the day holding her daddy's hand, and for most of the day he would not let go. He had such a grip on her hand as if he was begging her not to leave him alone. As the family was gathering around his bed not knowing what was going to happen he began to recognize and respond to certain peoples voices. My grandma came up behind me grab his hand and said, "Hey Babe." That forever has changed the meaning of love. This woman is being strong for her seven children, numerous grandchildren, and neices and nephews that are all with her to say goodbyes to an amazing man, her husband. He stirred in his bed trying to see where the voice and touch was coming from. Grandma walked around the bed to the side where he could see easiest. She began to again tell him that she loved him so much and that she would be okay, to just look around at all the people that have come for support and love that would make sure she was okay.

My mom's cousin Jeanean starting talking to her Uncle Harold, and out of no where he picked up his head and clear as day said, "Jean." I have never seen that kind of smile on a woman's face before. I said typical grandpa...always doing things on his time. Not letting anyone have a say in the way he does things. Now they are saying they don't know what is happening. My grandpa keeps jumping from bad to worse back to semi normal...my aunts keep saying that he is waiting for his sister to come out on Thursday.

This whole experience is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I can't even imagine how my mom and her sisters feel. My grandma keeps putting on a brave foot and only breaking down every once in a while. I hope that in my life I can have half the strenght of that woman.